- GEORGE CARLIN YOUTUBE ABOUT STUFF FULL
- GEORGE CARLIN YOUTUBE ABOUT STUFF PROFESSIONAL
- GEORGE CARLIN YOUTUBE ABOUT STUFF CRACK
“I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. “The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. “If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.”ģ3. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.”ģ2. “Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?”ģ0. “Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.”Ģ9. “Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”Ģ8. “Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.”Ģ7. “The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, you know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”Ģ6. “People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.”Ģ5.
“If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?”Ģ4. “Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.”Ģ3. “Everyone smiles in the same language.”Ģ2. “Electricity is really just organized lightning.”Ģ1. “Just ‘cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town.”Ģ0. When you’re born in America, you get a front row seat.”ġ9. “When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. “That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”ġ8. “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”ġ7. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He’s all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can’t handle money!”ġ6.
GEORGE CARLIN YOUTUBE ABOUT STUFF FULL
And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ’til the end of time! But He loves you. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. “Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”ġ5. “Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.”ġ4.
And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”ġ3. “Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. “May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”ġ2. “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”ġ1. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.ġ0.
“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”ĩ. “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”Ĩ.
GEORGE CARLIN YOUTUBE ABOUT STUFF CRACK
“I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. “Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.”Ħ. “There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.”ĥ. “Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.”Ĥ. “Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”ģ. “The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves.”Ģ. We’ve compiled a list of 310 quotes for you.Īnd don’t forget to check out these Dick Gregory quotes. Looking for the best George Carlin quotes?
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